Full disclosure, there’s over forty books in the Xanth series, and I’ve read about thirty of them in high school. Air Apparent is the thirty-first book and I was so excited when I found it in the library.
But after reading the first chapter, I came upon the dreaded Great Expectations Situation. When I read that classic novel, my expectations were just like the title suggested. And since my hopes were so high, the fall from those hopes was made that much worse.
That’s right, I had expected Air Apparent to provide the same laughs, intrigue, and feeling of fulfillment that I got from this series in high school. But now I realize my teenage self is different from my adult self.
The dialogue is stilted, the characters are sexist, and the book relies far too much on overly buxom characters to add the interest that the writing should. Also, the puns. It was pun-ishment. When I was in high school, I thought the puns were the life blood of this series and so witty that I idolized the author like teenyboppers idolized ‘NSYNC. But after there was an entire paragraph dedicated to just listing puns, which I’m betting was added as an ego stroke by the author to basically say, “Hey, look at how many puns I can think of. I am the Pun Master. All hail,” I’m done.
And magic. Magic is usually the strong point in books, but this chapter used it as a Deux Ex Machina. Dead body in the cellar? Must be magic’s fault. Blind girl needs a traveling companion but the only option isn’t optimal? Let’s just magic that companion to be more useful. Blind girl is blind? Let’s give her the magic power to be so sensitive that she can feel when people have five-eighths of a smile, and all she has to do is snap her fingers to echolocate everything in a large storage room. She’s basically what dolphins hope to one day evolve to be.
So even though this chapter had a murder mystery, kidnapping, voluptuous demon, seemingly all-powerful magician, and the legendary Gorgon herself, the robotic dialogue, rampant casual sexism, and reliance on magical solutions makes me not want to read the rest of the novel. Which is disappointing considering I spent four years in high school reading thirty of these books. What would my teenage self say?
Have you guys ever had such high expectations when picking up a book, only to wish you went in neutral? Then maybe the fall wouldn’t be from a mountain but from a level sidewalk.
Quotable Quote
Imagine this…times ten.
There were gra-pills that enabled folk to wrestle well, purr-pills that caused folk to turn reddish blue while feeling very satisfied, and ap-pills that kept doctors away. Also princi-pills for those lacking in ethics, sim-pills for those with too much intellect, and pill-fur coats for those who didn’t mind stealing clothing.
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Gwen thinks that it’s as close to magic as humans can get when a blank Word document is filled with groups of letters, and those groups of letters turn into lines, and those lines turn into a whole new world.
When Gwen isn’t reading or writing, she’s drinking boba milk tea and singing along to Steven Universe. You should sing along with her.