The Skinny
(aka Back of the Book Summary in a Sentence)
Heathcliff is in love with Catherine, but when she marries someone else, he spirals into madness and exacts revenge against her family.
Nutritional Value
(aka What’s Good)
This chapter was like a competition between who’s more socially inept, Mr. Lockwood or Heathcliff. Spoiler alert, Heathcliff wins by an asocial mile. Popularity contests are common, but unpopularity contests are like a rare Pokemon, so it’s a pleasant surprise to randomly run across one.
Freezer Burn
(aka What’s Bad)
This novel suffers from the same problem I have with most books written in the 1800’s – unnecessary verboseness. The first chapter could have been condensed into a single paragraph, and no plot would have been lost whatsoever. Think of all the trees that could have been spared, all the eyes that could have been unstrained.
Lingering Aftertaste
(aka My Prediction)
The back of the book says that Heathcliff goes crazy and takes revenge against Catherine’s family. The first chapter sounds like it takes place after that, when Heathcliff has been alone for many years and doesn’t really know how to function as a person anymore.
I’m predicting the rest of the book is going to be someone telling Mr. Lockwood the story behind Heathcliff and Catherine’s tragic love, its lonely aftermath, and the reason Heathcliff is such a crappy host.
Taste Test Verdict
(aka Would I Read More?)
I know this is a beloved classic, but the first chapter didn’t really get me interested in the story. The chapter was literally just Mr. Lockwood arriving at Heathcliff’s house and Heathcliff being a terrible host. Do I want to read more about Heathcliff’s lack of ability to wine and dine a guest? Not really. No second scoop for me.
Memorable Morsel
(aka Quotable Quote)
Like a dog that was never socialized as a puppy.
The ‘walk in’ was uttered with closed teeth, and expressed the sentiment, ‘Go to the Deuce’: even the gate over which he leant manifested no sympathising movement to the words; and I think that circumstance determined me to accept the invitation: I felt interested in a man who seemed more exaggeratedly reserved than myself.
Would you enter an unpopularity contest? Sound off in the comments below!
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Gwen thinks that it’s as close to magic as humans can get when a blank Word document is filled with groups of letters, and those groups of letters turn into lines, and those lines turn into a whole new world.
When Gwen isn’t reading or writing, she’s drinking boba milk tea and singing along to Steven Universe. You should sing along with her.